Valentine's Day: Singles Edition

It's been awhile since my last blog. Quite awhile actually. It's been quite busy in my neck of the woods. Between classes, work and having my gallbladder taken out I really haven't had much time to update, but I'm here now.

With Valentine's Day sneaking around the corner, I thought I'd speak to the singles today. As anyone who's ever been single would know, Valentine's Day is pretty much the most torturous holiday there could be. One more day to remind us that we are indeed alone. And, at Northwestern, it always seems that love is in bloom everywhere, but it's heightened on Valentine's Day. It's not easy being single today in today's culture, let alone in a bubble where people are getting engaged and married about every 30 seconds. We're constantly bombarded with the message that we won't be happy/satisfied/successful/complete until we find that special someone. What I'm about to say is shocking: That's not true.
Coming from me, that statement I'm sure is shocking. Let me continue.

As of late (for the last year) I've slowly been changing my mind on what it means to be single, and what God can do with that time. If you asked me at 17 where I thought I would be at 21 I would have said I'd be a Junior in college, I'd most likely be engaged and probably getting married after graduation. When I came to college that was my goal, what I had in mind. The plan was be dating/engaged by junior year, married right after graduation, get a job with the Des Moines Register(I was once a journalism major) be married by 22, star having children at 25, have one every 2 years until I was to 6 in the order of boy, girl, girl, boy, boy, girl. I could go on but I think you get the point, I'm quite the planner. Being a criminal justice major, still single at 21 and barely figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and no idea where I would be working or living was not exactly what I had planned. Here's the thing though, I wouldn't trade where I am now for the world.

Part of where I am in life is being single. I've never really dated. Sure I've been on a date or two but never in a relationship. I don't regret that though. When I look back on high school, I'm so glad I never dated. What I once considered a curse I now am able to see as a blessing.

You see, I firmly believe that God knows what he's doing. He knows much better than what I do, and his plan is much better than whatever I could imagine. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11.

I've been reading the book Lady in Waiting and it's really given me some incredible insights. As women we get so insecure, we find our validation in men and what they have to say about us. Our days are wholly dependent on whether or not a guy looks our way. I'm sick of this way of thinking. Ladies, God has so much better for you! God isn't limited by our circumstances. In the book of Ruth, Ruth makes this incredibly crazy choice. When her husband dies she has the option to go back to her homeland, where there are male prospectives waiting and where it seems most logical for her to find another husband. Instead of taking the easy road Ruth decides to follow where God was leading. In doing that Ruth ultimately met Boaz and it was happily ever after. Ruth made her choice not by what looked the easiest and where her prospectives looked the best, but where God was leading. So often we as women think we need to put ourselves in the best location to find a guy. We create "chance encounters" for ourselves because we think God can't provide. Ultimately we think God won't come through. I'm just as guilty as the next girl in this. It's what we do. But, when we do this we're not trusting God, we're not trusting his plan is better than our plan. Now, I'm not saying to sit at home, but live your life not just doing things because it could be a great chance to meet a cute guy.
Ladies let's make good use of our single time! We can go anywhere and do anything without having to check with a boyfriend/fiance/husband/children. This is the time where God can take you anywhere, when you are most available to just pick up and go! The single life doesn't have to be sitting around waiting for life to happen when we suddenly have that significant other. Let God take care of your love life. We should be out there serving and trying new things, living life! It seems so scary I know, trusting God, letting him take the lead. I recently was talking with a friend about this and being my dramatic self I declared "I'm trying so hard to trust God, but what if his plan is that I'm single for the rest of my life in Africa!" Dramatic, I know. But, I think that's every single's fear. However, I also believe that God knows the desires of our heart. If that's the plan, than God will change what you desire. But, I don't believe that God will give you a desire he's not going to fulfill (withing reason). God knows that ultimately I do want to get married and have a family, that I so look forward to having great in laws who will make up for the lack of family I was given. I trust that God will do that.

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation Psalm 5:3
God will come through, he always has, it's who he is.

So, as we approach Valentine's Day singles, let's not be too discouraged. While this may be another holiday for us to be reminded of our single state, let's take joy in it and remember that at the end of the day, God has our best interest in mind, he hasn't left us or deserted us, but has a much better plan for us than what we could ever imagine.